This is the first time I have ever done this but I am going to have to post this person's entire profile. I started writing a blog about how ridiculous and depressing his profile was, but then I realized it is just a bit too over the top. Nobody can be this terrible? In fact it seems almost brilliant in that his terribleness is masked in all this very slight self-deprecation --only enough to make it even more terrible -- but enough so that a 22 year old girl would probably be fooled:
My Self Summary:
Hello there!
I have never done the online dating thing so this will be a first for me. Please be gentle.
I am a senior engineer for Ford Motor Co. I like fast cars. :) I make good money so that won't impress me much if that's your angle. I don't mind taking care of my girl. I'm the type who will open doors for you and cuddle with you and buy you nice things. I hope that doesn't sound too ridiculous in the day and age.
I'm not into the whole one night stand thing. I'm looking for a girl to marry and travel the world with. I hope that girl might be you! I'm not too picky about age, be it older or younger.
I love ice cream! Actually, I love most sweets. I work out pretty regularly so I guess I can get away with some bad eating habits. It is what it is.
I am established, ambitious, and confident
What I'm doing with my life
Well, like I said I'm an engineer at Ford. I'm looking to advance within the company. Perhaps one day I can break away from it all and become a full-time model. I don't really think I look good enough for that. Oh well. I'm not complaining.
I'm really good at
Spending money...lol
Jeopardy! I once qualified to appear on Jeopardy but it wouldn't have worked out with my career. It was during crunch time when we were developing a new car. Such is life.
I was a high school quarterback in Florida. I wonder if I would have made it big if I kept that up...
I'm a really good kisser and cuddler. I think I like affection too much.
The first things people usually notice about me
Usually my car. I drive a Porsche. People can be shallow.
My favorite books, movies, music, and food
Movies: Stuff like 12 Angry Men, 2001: A Space Odyssey, etc. Nothing too shallow.
I love all kinds of food. I love expensive food. It's usually better. I love taking people to great restaurants.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
I spend a lot of time thinking about finding a special woman in my life. I'd like to save up a good chunk of money, marry my sweetheart, and just travel Europe with her.
The most private thing I'm willing to admit
I'm a real soft-hearted guy. I cry sometimes in movies. I know it doesn't look good but what can I do?
You should message me if
You should message me if you're tired of playing games and you're looking for someone to complete you. I aim to be that guy.
This HAS to be a joke right? He is playing on every single ridiculous stereotype of what men envision women wanting from men. I am so tempted to message him and ask him this...
Unfuckingbelievable. Plus, he would drive a Ford.
ReplyDeletedo you think it's a fake??
ReplyDeleteI asked a girl once if her profile was a joke. It was a similar type of thing... she was talking about how she was easy to have sex with and other similar male fantasies.
ReplyDeleteTrollllllll.
ReplyDelete"I drive a Porsche. People can be shallow." - It has to be fake right?
I think I know this guy! Seriously though, I know someone who's so much like this, and he turned out to be a total stalker. Don't message him!!
ReplyDeleteIt sounds pretty much spot on for a lot of the engineers I've known. I seriously doubt it's a joke.
ReplyDeleteI also think messaging him to ask if his profile is a joke would be kind of a dick move -- if it is legit (like I think it is) then having a random girl ask if he's for real is pretty harsh and unnecessary.
"...having a random girl ask if he's for real is pretty harsh and unnecessary."
ReplyDeleteRight and wrong. It's harsh. But it's not unnecessary. That guy needs to be shamed.
I'm not going to do it... I mainly just don't want to contact him.
ReplyDelete100% real. There are people like this in the world. You seem to have lived a sheltered life Sarah ;)
ReplyDelete