A partner not a pet

I thought I'd given up on the blog, but then I received this absolute gem of a message:

Well all I'm looking for is someone who wants something simple and satisfying, not just a one night stand. I want someone who at the end of the day wants to get together watch a movie cuddled on the couch and fool around. I will say I do enjoy things a little rough, hair pulling, spanking, and lip biting are a few of my favorites. Otherwise I'm fairly vanilla and boring as for what I like to do to pass the time, I really enjoy good food so someone who wants to help make dinner at the end of a long day would be nice or someone who feels like getting out a bit and taking in a few of the sites.

The rest of his profile is just as weird. Nearly all of his pictures are him posing goofily with various wax celebs at Madame Tussaud's, like Woody Allen and Martin Luther King Jr. (hilarious!!). 

He is also extremely particular about what he is looking for in a woman: 

I'm looking for someone who wants to do fun little things with me on a daily basis, a workout and dinner companion who wants to see me as often as possible. I like being active but do enjoy those relaxing days at home.

My ideal woman is a contradiction. I want a partner not a pet, someone like me who has a career and a plan. Someone who like me has put their personal life on the back burner for a little bit and now that we've got the professional side squared away it's time to build the relationship side. I like a strong woman with her own opinions but at the same time she has a softer side that likes to let down her guard with me. A woman that likes to curl up in my lap at the end of a hard day or that randomly likes to be held tightly when she feels lonely. I do enjoy those lazy days that are spent laying on the couch together, hopefully you do too.

Any Commentary Would Be Superfluous

Just received this:

Hey, how are you? Can i ask if you would let a guy serve as your domestic slave? Nothing sexual, could just have me do chores, clean, run errands, serve as a driver, anything you want

Andy Kaufman is Alive and Well and Messaging Me on OKCupid

Andy Kaufman (or as he is better known now: the guy who was played by Jim Carrey in that movie from the 90s with Courtney Love back when she seemed to be kind of holding it together) became famous for 'The Foreign Man' a character he invented while doing stand-up and then played with only a slight variation as Latka Graves on the sitcom Taxi. The Foreign Man was a bumbling, extremely clueless, but indisputably sweet and well-intentioned, heavily accented, recent immigrant from a made up Eastern European country. Watch the first few moments of the clip below for an example.

I bring this up not merely to reminisce about my late-90s movie-going experiences but because I just received a message from a guy who simply must be proof that Andy Kaufman faked his own death (snopes.com be damned) and is now doing performance art on OKCupid. Check it out, I really think I'm on to something: 

My self-summary

Well im very nice guy :), who like to meet new people and discover new cultures and show mines!!! im friendly, like to parties and also good talks!!. im openmind and respect others ways of think!

You should message me if

if you can catch me ;) ....

Thank you very much.