Summer Hiatus

Just like my favorite life analogy, television sitcoms, my blog is going on a summer hiatus.

I will resume blogging once summer is over, the bar has been taken, law school is but a distant memory and I am living a life of poverty in NY.

Stay tuned!

Hella smart AND funny

See below:
Just watned to say hi. I'm laid back and have a great sense of humor. hahaha just kidding. my sense of humor is in the gutter and requires no thought.

so how come you have misgivings about being a lawyer? you know they are necessary because not everyone can stand up for themselves. the jobs seem to be lacking at this time, but i dont think that will be for long.

just want to say that you're cute but actually seem a bit smarter than i assumed. i dont mean to sound rude lol. but im really hella smart and i dont meet smart people that often except at work. i mean i'm a genius.

"That may be the worst msg I've ever read"

Girls don't you worry, Prince Charming is alive and well, is living in Michigan and even has his own OkCupid account. Read on:

I have no choice, After seeing your picture I had to write something to you, like I love your pictures. I did catch what you were looking for, and what would you know, I have a, I'm a guy who likes girls. I have a. was about to be my snarky comment, Which i have more class then talking about naughty bits, (^-^*) ....... you're pretty *drool*

His profile perhaps explains a bit:

The most private thing I’m willing to admit

hockey puck to the head and it did something.

I hope he is joking.

Carry-On or Check?

Just received a message from a 41 year old who says in his You should message me if section:

You aren't afraid to take a chance on a genuine guy who comes with some baggage (but can handle it all on his own), but is very willing to give a lot to develop a long-term relationship.

I honestly can't think of a person I'd rather date less than a 41 year old who lacks enough self-awareness to realize that proclaiming you have "baggage" is quite possibly the biggest turn off imaginable. 

On the plus side he does sing karaoke and describes it as, "a minor passion." Hmmm...

I Think I'm in LOVE

Conventional wisdom is that women are often attracted to unavailable men. I think this might be the strategy that Johnm4u is going for and if so it is brilliant:

My self-summary:

I am going to be short. I don't have anything that I can offer to any women. I have taken upon myself to be single for six months. Not what you want to hear. I am putting my life back together, by myself. If you are still reading this stop and look at someone elses.

The first thing people notice about me:

Don't really care what people notice.

I spend a lot of time thinking about:

nothing, why think about doing something do it, and stop reading the rest of this profile.

The last question is what makes me convinced this is a clever strategic ploy.

You should message me if:
If you made it this far, your probably thinking I can help this guy...I don't want help, I am happy for right now...If you are that persistant message me, but don't get your hopes up.'


Is it just me or does this guy sound GREAT!?!

MOST freaky yet

Read this:

Don't press the red button
Nice to meet you. As you can guess, I saw your profile and wanted to offer my two cents. You can also check my profile out as well for a better idea of the man behind the message.

Anyhow! This may sound like a cliche, but I am a nice, normal, safe, sane guy with a hidden dark streak of eroticism. For some reason woman feel really comfortable talking to me and telling me their most intimate desires. Maybe it's because I am a good listener. I don't know, but if you are a sexual submissive who would like to explore some of your desires I believe I am the perfect friend for you. I am very busy with work and too busy for drama, much like yourself. I can be that someone you trust and get together with on occasion. I can help you unleash your 'inner slut.' If it evolves, possibly more.


I have been described as an angel with a wicked smile. Someone who is nice but emits a mysterious and mischievous aura. I will make you feel perfectly safe in my presence as I will respect and abide by all limits given to me. .


So what do you think? Shall we chat more?

His profile is even worse:
Here's the opening paragraph of his My self-summary section:

Some men are gentle and some men are mean. Some girls want to be treated like delicate little flowers, and some girls need to be fucked rough like dirty whores. Some men would never lay a hand on a pretty young girl, and some men know that sometimes a girl needs a spanking, needs to be slapped, needs to be held down and used. It doesn't take a dominant or a sadist to understand what a girl might need. And you don't have to be submissive to yearn for a man to put you in your place.

Some girls make it a point of pride to always be in control, and some girls don't mind being made to beg.

Guess which type of man I am? Guess which type of girl I'm looking for?

Somehow I have a feeling this is not going to turn out well for the girl involved, as his profile screams shrilly "I'm a sexual predator." This is really the dark underbelly of OKCupid right here, please just go back to Craigs List buddy.

and here's to you Mrs Robinson

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WWSKD?

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Pathetic Guys Finish Last

It's 2011 and as promised I have reactivated my OkCupid account for the time being and boy am I glad I did. 5 minutes in and I already have material for a whole new blog post as I just received a message from a 25 year old guy from Monroe, Michigan containing the following:
I love movies and can probably recite every line from a few from memory. I also love music especially live music. I am fun, outgoing, and my most common description from my friends is that I am a " great guy". Nice guys finish last in my experience though. Who knows maybe you'll prove me wrong!

Apparently this guy thinks this is a pretty good line as he also uses it in his The first things people usually notice about me section:
Most people say that I am a really genuinely nice guy but I think nice guys must finish last when it comes to dating because I have had some bad luck! Maybe you can prove me wrong!

Not to sound hyper-critical and bitchy (oh whatever) but this is just pathetic. There is nothing less appealing (besides repeated mentions of Dungeons & Dragons) than self-proclaimed nice guys complaining about their luck with women. If your message is any indicator you are "finishing last" not because you are a "great guy" but because you are a passive aggressive doormat who is unable to even project self-confidence on the internet.

I also don't think it would work out, I'm not sure how I feel about "music" I think I just "like" it.