Sifting Through More Messages

• hmmm.... a law student who also says Wife Swap and Trading Spouses are his guilty pleasures, BUT he's in Lansing.  Also profile raising a few red flags: under "The 6 things I could never live without" he lists: "Friends, family, pizza, my bed, and music" (I realize law students aren't the most mathematical but come on.) Deleted.
• Seems pretty clear that when OKCupid! is telling me "Y'all Got Issues" I should trust them. (For real -- usually on someone's profile it says "The 2 of you" and you can compare how alike you are, but for some really bad matches it says that.) Delete.
• I'm really not a snob about stuff like this, BUT one of the questions you can answer is ""Wherefore art thou Romeo!" What does "wherefore" mean in this context?" If you are going to answer this publicly you should make sure and get it right (hint: it doesn't mean "how"). Delete. Honestly wouldn't care if someone didn't know this -- just find it odd to answer the question if you don't know. Guess I am more intellectually insecure than he is.
• Deleting someone with the username "JihadJustin"
• Kind of feel bad about this, but absolutely have to delete a guy who admits to playing Magic the Gathering.
• Am not dating a 39 year old. 
• Some guy messaged me with a very long proposal about how the solution to the gay marriage issue is to make marriage a completely civil institution... He then says: "Even if you don't like me, I would seriously appreciate feedback on my idea before I use it in conversation"  Sorry buddy.
• Deleting a message that just makes me feel depressed after reading it. The subject is "I don't know where to start..." and the opening line is, "...honestly. I've done this so many times and with so little result. I know this is probably a terrible way to start a message, but it is the truth. I don't want to bore you to death so I'll just say that from your profile you seemed like a pretty cool person." You really should have gone with your first instinct, yes, that is a terrible way to start a message, and by simply calling attention to how terrible it is does not make it any less terrible.

Woohoo! I'm done clearing out my inbox. I have 13 messages left, some seem more promising than others and for the first time actually feel a little bit optimistic about the whole thing. (Some seemingly interesting guys got lost in the crowd.)

Organizing My OKC Inbox (excitement personified!)

This is a tragedy. I spent hours cleaning up my OKC inbox (meaning I deleted tons of messages from people I would never respond to) and was keeping meticulous notes about the more ridiculous ones, and guess what happened? The damn blog didn't save... and all my messages are deleted. Oy.


So here is a less than complete account of my night:

• Deleted all "winks" -- if it is this hard for me to respond to actual messages, there is no way I can respond to a wink without more. 
• Deleted all guys with kids. Maybe in 10 years when I am still single, and slightly more desperate I will be more willing to consider this. Definitely not ready yet. Also, pretty confident I won't be a good match with the guy who told me he likes to spend his weekend hanging out with his son and 4-Wheeling with his buddies. 
• Deleted a Canadian Med student who in his "What I am doing with my life" section talks for 5 (long) sentences about he isn't sure if he wants to divulge what his profession is, because he thinks it may attract the wrong kind of attention and he doesn't want to flaunt his social status. Then he spends 15 (very long) sentences talking about how being a doctor is the greatest thing in the world because it gives him a chance to use all of his intellectual gifts to help people.
• Was very torn about deleting a guy who listed as one of his favorite books "The Giver" -- sorry, even in 5th grade I thought it was simplistic. The reason I'm so torn is that he also listed "Pride and Prejudice" which is my favorite book, and I have a soft spot for any guy who likes Jane Austen. Ended up keeping him.
• Definitely, and without any hesitation, deleted a guy who messaged me asking me some hypothetical about who would win in a fight between a ninja, pirate and zombie or something like that. Like I guess I get why some people might like to have this discussion, but it would honestly irritate the hell out of me. 
• Deleted a 1L from Detroit Mercy. Definitely not breaking my no law student rule for him.
• Deleted anyone under 24. I feel like he would have to be an incredibly mature 22/23 year old for it to even have a possibility of working out -- and someone who messages me with the subject ";)" is probably not that guy.
• Deleted a guy who had no profile filled out at all -- and his picture was of him (shirtless) at the gym taking a picture of himself with his phone.

Still have a page of messages to go through -- but I am feeling good that I am at least starting to narrow it down to guys who I think at least hypothetically I would not be completely opposed to getting coffee with (maybe!)

Strangest Message (yet)

Some of the messages I get are nice and normal, and make me feel really bad about not responding. Others run the gamut from being very MySpace-esque (remember MySpace?) like "hey cutie, what's up?" to strangely confrontational (like critiquing things in my profile).

This one from "yourlast" is by far the most bizarre. The subject line is: "It's good to be unique" and the message says:
I already don't think it would ever work, even though you fit my usual girl friend type. Attractive, atypical, and annoying intelligent.
I just wanted to say that I enjoyed reading your profile, and wish I had the motivation to put that much thought into something that is probably a huge waste of time, but still enjoyable none the less.
Ok, that's it. Just thought I would share. 

I just don't get the strategy behind this... is he hoping that by calling me annoying (because I seem intelligent?) and then giving me a very transparently backhanded compliment about putting thought into something that is just a waste of my time (on what exactly, my profile, law school?) it will be like reverse psychology and I will message him back out of curiosity?

 After checking out his profile, I have to say I agree with his assessment of the likelihood of things working out between us. He is a Christian (nothing against Christians, just know it would not be a good match for me) and wants to be a lawyer. (I have a clear no law student / lawyer rule on my profile.)

First an Explanation

To make a long story short: I freaked out about being single on my 27th birthday and after much deliberation (I'm a law student so there is much deliberation in everything I do) signed up for the dating website okcupid.com because it seemed to have a fairly good track record with 20somethings in my similar situation.

It has been about a month and I have finally finished my profile (nearly), uploaded two pictures, received a bunch of messages, and "winks" (I think the equivalent of a facebook "poke"), invited friends over to help me sift through the messages and scout any potential guys, and have even saved a few to my "favorites" list. I have yet to respond to any message, or take the first step in messaging anyone. Baby steps.

This experience is a potential humor goldmine so I decided I need to blog about it.

Credit to Maia for the brilliant name.